marți, 13 octombrie 2015

Femeia e...un borcan cu de toate

The a jar with everything

12 years ago I have been to a conference that had the main subject the difference between woman and man. At that time I was a careless student, naive and with the smile on my face all the time, so all the content was really pleasant until a guy started his presentation saying (paraphrased):

" - You know, the woman is a jar with everything!" Wow, he was really lucky that I didn't have any jars with me, otherwise, all of them would be landing in his head, thanks to the outrage he woke up in me. I wasn't the only one irritated of that affirmation, so, after he saw that he started the rumor regarding the woman-jar, he gave himself the chance to explain to us what he really meant (so we could settle down:))).

"- And the man is a cupboard full of drawers, very well separated and orderly maintained. Imagine the next sequence: she is phoned and founds out that her uncle died. She starts to cry in his arms, he starts to caress her, and then he leans to kiss her, becomes more insistent with caressing her, and in the end, he let her know that he wants to "comfort" her more profoundly. She is horrified, starts to push him back and to tells him that he is barbaric because she just received a tragic news and she's not into making love and he should know this etc. Well, this portrays exactly why the woman is like a jar and the man is like a cupboard...the woman absorbs all day long events, memories, things that get mixed in her head; while the man sorts every event and puts it in the specific drawer. In other words, when she received the tragic news, she got all flustered, all the good memories with her uncle, regrets etc were all surfaced. On the other side, if he was at first saddened by that news, in a second he put the problem in the drawer named "Death news", and opened the drawer named "Sex". Right now he had to resolve this problem, even if her uncle died, because a man can be focused only on one drawer at the time.

I recognized myself in this metaphysical condition (OK, I admit, it was physical, when I was pregnant), of the mixed feelings, influences, memories and thoughts, and here is the proof...(see photos below)

I went to an event in a nice dress, Adidas snickers, with a bee hive in my head a la Alina Ceusan, well, as I told you  - A REAL JAR!

Acum 12 ani am fost la o intrunire in care s-a discutat in proportie de 99% despre diferentele dintre barbati si femei. Eram studenta fara griji, naiva si tot timpul pe hlizeala, asa ca mi s-a parut foarte amuzanta toata prezentarea pana cand un tip a luat cuvantul si a spus asa (parafrazat);

" - Stiti, femeia e ca un borcan cu de toate!" Moama, mare noroc a avut ca nu aveam borcane la mine, ca, la cat de jignita m-am simtit, imi venea sa i le trantesc pe toate in cap. Nu am fost singura siderata de afirmatie, asa ca, dupa ce a vazut ca a starnit ceva rumoare cu femeia-borcan, si-a dat sansa sa ne si explice ce voia sa spuna. Asadar, continua el:

" - Iar barbatul e ca un dulap plin de sertare, foarte bine delimitate si ordonate. Ganditi-va la urmatoarea scena: ea afla la telefon ca unchiul ei a murit. Incepe sa planga la el in brate, el o mangaie, apoi da sa o sarute, apoi devine mai insistent cu mangaierile, si pana la urma ii da de inteles ca ar vrea sa o "consoleze" mai profund. Ea oripilata, incepe sa se indeparteze de el si sa ii spuna ca e un barbar, ca ea e indurerata, ca tocmai ce a primit o veste groaznica, nu ii arde de asa ceva etc. Ei bine, tocmai de aici reise natura borcan a femeii si natura dulap a barbatului...adica, pentru femeie, toate evenimentele dintr-o zi se amesteca in borcan si o influenteaza mai mult sau mai putin, si totodata poate fi foarte usor starnita cu un lucru aparent banal, in timp ce barbatul isi sorteaza fiecare eveniment si il baga in sertarul corespunzator. Cu alte cuvinte, atunci cand ea a primit vestea decesului unchiului, ea toata s-a tulburat, au fost aduse la suprafata amintiri, pareri de rau etc. In schimb, el, desi initial a fost indurerat, ulterior a luat problema, a bagat-o in sertar si apoi a inchis sertarul. Apoi a deschis sertarul SEX, asa ca acum trebuia sa rezolve aceasta problema, chiar daca murise unchiul (aceea era o poveste incheiata), intrucat el se poate concentra doar asupra unui sertar."

Eu m-am recunoscut in aceasta stare metafizica a borcanului (bine, recunosc, si fizica, cand eram insarcinata), a amestecului de stari, eu-uri, influente, iar dovada ca asa stau lucrurile, iat-o mai jos.

Am plecat la eveniment, cu rochie de bal, adidasi, cu un bee hive in cap a la Alina Ceusan (, ce mai, un adevarat borcan!

Apoi, mai ceva ca Cinderella, mi-am schimbat papucii, si am devenit o zana neagra (fiti atenti!)

In Cinderella style, I changed my snickers, and I became a black fairy (watch out!)

Si-am pozat de s-au crucit spectatorii:)))

And I was vogued to the spectators wonder:)))

Recunosc, n-am picioare frumoase, da' nici poza A. nu ma flateaza, de parca am picioare de elefant. Macar sandalele-s frumoase!

I admit, I don't have beautiful legs, but even so, A.'s photos does not flatter me at all, looks like I have elephant legs:))). At least, the sandals are beautiful!

Si-am revenit la starea initiala, cu geaca de piele, cu sandalele in mana, si adidasi in picioare.

In the end, I was returned to my initial stage - leather jacket, holding my sandals, and in snickers.

Da, recunosc, sunt speriata de felul meu, cred ca mi se trage de la prea multe filme horror vazute in copilarie:)))

Yes, I am a scared person :)) thanks to the horror movies I saw in my childhood:))

Incepuse ploaia, iar rochia asta chiar ma face sa arat ca un borcan:))) (vedeti cum sar de la o idee la alta, asta inseamna sa fii borcan).

The rain just started and this dress makes me look like a jar:)) (see how I jump from one idea to another, well that means to be a jar).

Ce am purtat: rochie SH din catifea, tafta si tulle (10 lei:))); geaca de piele SH - 30 lei, geanta (nu e SH, deci - who cares?), Adidasi luati la reducere, curea SH, esarfa MOA

What I wore: thrifted velvet, taffeta and tulle dress, leather jacket - trifted, bag - not thrifted, so, who cares, Adidas shoes, Le Silla sandals, thirfted belt, MOA scarf 

p.s. mi-a zis A. (sora mea) ca eram frumoasa in real life!!! Soc si groaza, ca ea spune asa evenimente speciale, gen, cand ne mai viziteaza cometa Halley:))

p.s. A. (my sister) told me that I was beautiful in real life!!! Well, that was a thing that really shocked me because she usually say things like this on special occasions like when Halley comet visits us:)))

Si-a venit frigul!

Winter is here!

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