vineri, 16 octombrie 2015

Tengo, tengo la camisa nera...

Of course I have been in Spain...actually, which Romanian citizen wasn't? Of course I know Spanish (A. - shut up), moreover, which Romanian citizen doesn't?!? Actually, when we (me and my fiancee, at that time) got lost in a small town and I tried to talk Spanish with some native girls, their first reaction was to make the cross sign (I am not sure if I swore them or smth similar), after that, we start talking in English :).

Even so, I didn't succeed to touch A.'s level of shame in using Spanish language. Not for any reason, but, at least I am not bragging around about my proficiency level of Spanish. Here we go...

One of our main objectives of the journey in Spain was to buy a device to wash the teeth with water-jet, a device that wasn't available in Romania at that time. It was the ultimate thing recommended by our dentist, and we surely had to had it...NOT. So, after a few days in Castellon, time that allowed us to get accustomed to the Spanish language, with a wild animus we went searching for that special device. We didn't bother to ask any of our relatives (who were living in Spain for years) how to ask for that device in the Spanish language because I was very confident on A.'s knowledge (I succeeded to make a fool of myself, so now I was on the listening mode, exercising my non-verbal speech, 'cos this is universal:)).

So, we entered the first big pharmacy we saw and I assisted passively-active to the next scenario:

A (very sure-footed) - Hello, I would like to know if you have a device with "jeto de aqua" (jeto is very similar to the Romanian word jet, and he just adapted it by saying h instead of j - respecting the Spanish norms:)))).

The pharmacist: Whaaaat?

A. (imperturbable): Con heto de aqua, para lavar los dientes...(With jeto of water for cleaning the teeth).

The pharmacist starts to understand that he is dealing with two idiots (I was included because I enthusiastically smiled at the enormous stupidity said by A.): Que quieras? (What do you want?)

A: Jeto de aqua (water jet)...

The pharmacist: Con chorro de aqua? (chorro means jet)

When he said chorro, I started panicking because a couple days ago I ate some traditional doughnuts called chorro, churro or smth, and I just couldn't get the connection between their longish doughnuts with our device water-jet based.

Because I can't stand for someone to clarify a problem, I decided to intervene, in Romanian, just to see how looks a future brain damage patient (the pharmacist):

- A, tell him (the pharmacist) that is not about doughnuts, we are not that crazy to ask for those delicious things here, in pharmacy!

A. lets the pharmacist in agony, while he answers me:

- He is not saying about doughnuts, but I still do not know what he is talking about!

Being very optimistic (yeah, right!), I gave the death blow:

- It's great that he did not ask us about chorizo (their traditional sausages)...that smarty ^%$$$%!

The pharmacist couldn't take the suspense anymore, somehow I believe that his heart was about to explode, so he intervened partially resigned, partially with five curses delicately inlaid around his mouth:

- Senor, con chorro de aqua? (Sir, with water jet?)

At this moment, I started to laugh hysterically, not because the pharmacist insisted with his chorro, churro, chorizo, whatever, but because A.'s face was painted in all rainbow's colours on his pity, humble little face that said smth like - "God, have mercy on me"! HAHAHA, I was laughing out loud just because I had the chance to see the fatuous connoisseur of Spanish languae on bedded knees by a doughnut (yes, I still could not get over that association with the doughnut. Told ya' - I'm a genius!).

On our way out, I think I surprised the pharmacist doing that cross sing discretely.

Let's all see the good part of things - I brought into some Spanish attention the existence of God, I (and many others who heard our story) have invigorated my face and belly brawn with all that laughter, AND A. finally swallowed his pride.

The bad part is that A.'s short term memory is for very short time, fact that represents an excuse for him to say that he doesn't remember very well that incident, and continues to torture us with his well-known line "I know very well Spanish, perhaps the best out of anyone I know"!

But let me tell you - Spain is a fabulous place. I simply love it!




Bineneteles ca am fost in Spania...de altfel, ce roman nu a fost acolo? Binenteles ca stiu spaniola (A., tu sa taci!), de altfel, ce roman nu o stie!?! Binenteles ca, atunci cand ne-am ratacit eu si A.(logodnicul, pe atunci) si am incercat sa vorbesc in spaniola cu niste native  - si-au facut alea cruce mai intai (le-oi fi injurat, nu sunt sigura de ce am zis), si apoi am dat-o-n engleza:))).

Eh, dar eu n-am fost nici pe aproape de A. in a ma acoperi de rusine in folosirea limbii spaniole. Nu de alta, dar macar eu nu ma laud cu studiul aprofundat al limbii spaniole, asa cum o face A.

Unul din obiectivele cheie ale calatoriei noastre in Spania consta in a cumpara un aparat de curatat dintii cu jet de apa, aparat ce nu se gasea la noi. Era ultima gaselnita in domeniu, iar noi trebuia musai sa o achizitionam...not! Asa ca, dupa cateva zile de stat in Castellon si de acomodat cu limba spaniola, am purces la drum cu suratu' in cautare de aparat miraculos. Fara sa ne consultam cu cei care vietiau acolo de ani buni, caci ei "nu studiasera cu profesor minunata limba", asa cum o facuse A., am considerat ca sunt suficiente  pe cunostintele lui (eu apucasem sa ma fac de ras, acum sedeam cuminte in banca mea si imi antrenam limbajul non-verbal, ca asta e universal:)).

Asa ca am intrat in prima farmacie mai aratoasa, si am asistat pasiv-activ la urmatoarea scena:

 A (sigur pe el): - Buna ziua, as dori sa stiu daca aveti aparat cu jeto (heto, ca asa se citeste:)) de aqua? (heto, in viziunea lui A. insemna JET, pe principul aplicat de Coana Chirita - furculision, lingurision)
Farmacistul: Haaaaa?
A (imperturbabil): Con heto de aqua, para lavar los dientes...
Farmacistul (incepea sa banuiasca ca are de-a face cu niste idioti, faceam parte si eu din etichetare, ca ii zambeam entuziast la prostia debitata de A.): Que quieres?
A: Heto de aqua?
Farmacistul: Con chorro de aqua? 

Aici am intrat in panica, ca numai zilele trecute mancasem niste gogosoi de-ale lor, si li se spunea churro sau ceva de genul, și nu puteam pricepe ce legătură au gogoșile lor lunguiețe cu jetul nostru de apa.

Cum nu suport ca cineva sa-si clarifice o problemă, am intervenit eu, în limba romană, ca văd cu ochii mei cum arată un viitor pacient cu vene sparte în creier:

- Spune-i A., ca nu e vorbă de gogoși, nici chiar așa demenți nu suntem sa cerem gogoși la farmacie, hahaha.

A. îl lăsa pe farmacist să agonizeze, în timp ce îmi dedea mie replică:

- Nu zice de gogoși, da' tot nu știu ce spune.

Optimista din mine nu se poate abține și da lovitură de grație:

- Bine ca nu ne-a zis cu chorizo (carnații lor tradiționali)...auzi tu ce minte pe asta?

Farmacistul nu mai suporta suspansul, cred ca simtea ca-i crapa inima, asa ca a intervenit, parțial resemnat, parțial cu cinci înjurături non verbale incrustate delicat în jurul gurii:

- Senor, con chorro de aqua?

La momentul asta m-a bufnit râsul, nu pentru ca farmacistul insista cu chorro, chorizo, churro, whatever, ci pentru ca A. era atât de viu colorat la față, de parcă cineva tocmai îi pictase curcubeul pe mutrișoară aia umilă, plăpândă, în genul "God, have mercy on me"! Hahahaha, muream de ras sa-l văd pe infatuatul cunoscător al limbii spaniole îngenuncheat de o gogoașă (da, mie nu-mi ieșise din cap asocierea cu gogoașa, v-am spus ca-s geniu!).

La plecare, cred ca l-am surprins pe farmacist ca își facea cruce discret.

Eu zic să vedem partea bună a lucrurilor...le-am reamintit unor spanioli ca există Dumnezeu, eu (și mulți alții care au auzit pățania noastră) ne-am tonifiat musculatură feței și a abdomenului de atata râs, A. si-a înghițit superioritatea declarata.

Partea proastă e ca A. are memoria de scurtă durată, de foarte scurtă durată, fapt pentru care el nu-si mai aduce așa bine aminte incidentul, și continuă să ne tortureze cu " eu știu foarte bine spaniolă"!

Dar eu am fost happy pe tot parcursul calatoriei - Spania e de vis.


The dark curly girl is A., and that tree behind us is actually a ficus (Ficus elastica) - exactly the plant that until then was seen only in flower-pots!

Cea neagra si creata e A., iar ala din spatele nostru e un ficus, fix planta aia pe care pana atunci o vazusem doar prin ghivece!


Kisses, to be continued with a post about my love - Spain!

Kisses, urmeaza partea cu pareri ample depre Spania, my love!

2 comentarii:

  1. Super, am ras cu lacrimi, mai vreau, e super ce scrii nu ca nu ai fost tu mereu o dulce un geniu și o super deșteaptă, ești adorabila în toate poveștile dar la asta am ras cu lacrimi și abia aștept următoarele.

    RăspundețiȘtergere
    Răspunsuri
    1. Mersi Mari, dupa cum vezi, in postarea asta am scos in evidenta geniul din famila Tarban:))) Va urma, pentru ca a fi "geniu" e un full time job:)))

      Ștergere